Children and Upbringing (Tarbiya)
Parents, children & kin · Parents, children & kin · Rights of the child, equality between children, and Luqmān's counsel
Islam frames child-raising as a trust: children hold rights against their parents — provision, a good name, teaching, and even-handedness — and the Qurʾān preserves a father's counsel as its model of tarbiya.
At a glance
| Child's rights | A good name, sustenance, education in faith and character |
|---|---|
| Equality | “Fear God and be just between your children” (Bukhārī & Muslim) |
| Model counsel | Luqmān to his son — Qurʾān 31:13–19 |
| Charge | “Protect yourselves and your families from the Fire” (66:6) |
The tradition enumerates the child's rights from birth: a good name, the ʿaqīqa (the welcoming sacrifice and shaving of the newborn's hair, distributed in charity), suckling — which the Qurʾān discusses with striking procedural care, enjoining that weaning be "by mutual consent and consultation" of both parents (2:233) — and thereafter sustenance, education and formation in faith and character. The Qurʾānic charge is addressed to the household's head: "protect yourselves and your families from the Fire" (66:6), which the exegetes read as a duty to teach, not merely to feed.
Justice between children is a named Prophetic demand. When al-Nuʿmān ibn Bashīr's father sought the Prophet's witness to a gift made to one son alone, he was asked whether every child had received the like; when the answer was no, he said "fear God and be just between your children" and refused to witness the gift (Bukhārī and Muslim). The schools debated whether the command is obligation or strong counsel, but the principle — no favouritism in treatment — is common ground, and the tradition specifically condemned the pre-Islamic preference for sons.
Tenderness itself is taught as sunna. The Prophet kissed his grandchildren and answered a Bedouin who boasted of never kissing his ten children: "he who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy" (Bukhārī and Muslim). And the Qurʾān's set-piece of upbringing is Luqmān's counsel to his son (31:13–19): pure monotheism first, then mindfulness of God, prayer, enjoining right, patience under trial, and finally manners — no arrogance of the cheek, a moderate stride, a lowered voice. Doctrine, worship, ethics and bearing, in that order, remain the tradition's curriculum of tarbiya.
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Curated reference on Islamic belief and thought. On matters where traditions differ, positions are attributed rather than adjudicated; verify points of doctrine with qualified scholars.